The lights break and crackle, fluttering and flicking like thunder crashing, such as a cozy fire warming the house. Bareface branches swaying and swinging outside. Seeming like a horrifying dance of dark and light, Good and Evil. You hear footsteps pounding towards you from the door, creaking and thumping with everystep. They lie still for a moment everything seems silent, almost stagnant. The door bursts open, and in a frightening and contagious fashion the shawdow lunges at you. Fortunately, you awake and are safe in your bed with the warm and compressing feeling of the covers. The day has only just begun. Walking down the stairs crashing at every step like waves in washing ashore splitting and breaking down the land. Left foot right foot left foot right foot. After what seems like an eternity you make it out the door and start off the day “for real”. Emotionally fatigued with patience like a thread, you trot on through work. Customer after customer, bill after bill, Day after Day, the overhanging thought of existential dread ringing in your head like a church bell declaring the hours, echoing back and forth, neverending. Battling through the thought you keep pushing, scarcely you are on the way home from work listening to the radio announcers speaking chaotic words in a rhythmic tone. Almost as if they are preachers at church, the difference being they preach with ill intent.
Your brain drifts back to a place of turmoil as you think of how it is almost beautiful in the way they indoctrinate the weak minds of people struggling, and yet these very people are the ones who praise them while they stand upon a pedestal of fear of the unknown and minimize themselves in return. You finally arrive home to be greeted by yelling like gunshots in you’re eardrums, Bang Bang Bang. Piles of furniture stacked up and knocked down, blocking doorways, rooms resembling an emotional barricade, pills like the bittersweet first snowfall of winter, lying on the ground with almost perfect positioning. Setup almost resembling a crime scene, everything so precise but dismanetled, you can feel the emotions that passed through the room. Back and forth and back and forth, like a wailing banshee her hollow voice filled with anger, dread, guilt, shame, pain. Although you care, the weight of the world is finally doubling down and you feel you are HOME. Most days I can’t even understand what that means, “Home: the place where someone lives permanently especially as a member of family.” You flee the “crime scene” feeling rash and cruel. But why? “I havent done anything” you scrape your way out of the house, then quicker then the darkness you go stagnant, the world moving faster then ever but yet your conscious seems to be at a stand still. This is the struggle
Many people live lives that seem to have no purpose or no direction. This is not something that is uncommon, but is it something that is a unified thought amongst people. Finding direction is much harder then it may seem, and when you don’t have direction or purpose you feel you have no reason to live. The issue with this is most people Don’t Want To Deal With LIFE. “Yet they are not willing to look for help or happiness?” The ignorant thoughts of those without the mindset of struggle. Struggle on its own is something that everyone you know experiences, though for some it’s not a phase. It’s a lifestyle. A way to survive in this trivial and chaotic place we call HOME. Struggle for some is what keeps us here. How? In short its Love, in its own it is a good trait that most people would hope to have in their back pocket. Men and women in the struggle tend to hurt others in the name of love, living lives full of pain and anger, throwing out emotion like quarterback throwing the final pass. When we do this not only do we hurt others but we change their views of the world. Even though the world doesn’t treat people fairly, most of the time people will treat people fairly, and with that some who live a life of struggle do it not for themselves but for their families or friends, in short, SOME PEOPLE LIVE THE STRUGGLE TO HELP OTHERS. Now this sounds heroic and it is, the issue that lies in the fact that the men and women struggling for others will never be willing to struggle the same way for themselves.
On the other hand, most others are bred to struggle only for themselves, as the world has unveiled the harsh reality of The Chaos. It is not the fact that they cannot struggle for others but rather the world has taught them to never hold on too tightly to things they love, a parent, a friend, a sibling.
On a grand scale, the struggle is a sad and repetitive story of being cheated for doing nothing wrong, and although truthful, these stories need to be retired. Turned to myth with morals something like, Through struggle comes perseverance. When we learn this trait we can build off it to help live the best life we can. Beyond that we learn to survive. To eat, sleep and live, and like history has proven once we have all our basic needs met we can build our minds and souls.
Another lesson if not the most important lesson you can learn from the struggle, Is the idea that EVEN IN THE CHAOS OF THE WORLD ALL IT TAKES IS A SECOND TO STOP AND SEE BEAUTY. When you’re feeling sad go outside and sit under a tree and feel it “breathe” with the winds of the earth. Go on a walk and watch the daisies swing to their joyous dance with elegance. This lesson sounds corny or childish, some might even say unrealistic. This lesson being the most important is also the hardest to learn as it is truly hard while being in the struggle to see the beauty within it. My life has been anything but easy but with the struggle I have come to see the beauty in so many things. Like most, HOME to me is just a word, letters making up sounds to create a language.
With that being said not having a rooted definition of the word it gives the opportunity for me to write those definitions. We can do this with so many different things in life and it can change our perception of the world, (MOM, DAD, BROTHER, SISTER, FRIEND, LOVE) which for most can be a very scary thing.
What’s scary? Change. The word can strike fear into the hearts of the strongest rulers as we as people don’t like being out of our comfort place, And to change you’re perception is to do just that. It may seem simple but to redfine words that have been indoctrinated into our minds is anything but a walk in the park. Once we learn to find the beauty in the chaos, we can try and find tranquilty and peace. As when you can learn to find beauty in the chaos, you can learn to find beauty in the world.
Understand this is not to tell you everything will be okay. It is not to euphemize the crass realities of the world or to bring you false hope in the name of blissful ignorance, but to try and bring that comfort back into your life. If only for a second or eternity take the time to find the beauty in the chaos.
The Hoot 
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