“The silence” by Avalynn Kelley

The silence

The chatter, the noise, the breathing.

The eyes, the smiles, the people pretending to be what they project.

I look around in a room full of souls, and though the uproar surrounds me, the silence in my head is the loudest sound.

The emptiness in my chest is what I push away, yet it’s the only thing I seem to notice. In a room full of people, I feel alone. But when I am alone, the voices in my head become the company I cannot find in others.

The thoughts. The ideas. The endless pondering that never seems to end.

I’ve learned that who I am with myself is not the same as the person I force into the world. I wear the masks of others until I forget my own face. And in the emptiness of a crowded room, I feel incomplete because I am still unknown, even to myself.

The presence of me, myself, and I is the most peaceful state I can reach. Among others, I observe so much that I lose more of myself each time. I do it out of fear, fear that nobody would accept who I truly am. So I’ve become a reflection of others.

And yet, the only constant that welcomes me is the silence-

a silence I crave wherever I go.